Why are VPN servers so bad?

Take a look at this:

It has lots of recommendations for common software replacements.

I personally would recommend for your specific case using these software:
Mails:

with


Chats Option 1 (preferred):
https://xmpp.org/

with (usually already built-in)


Chats Option 2:

with built-in encryption, but not as straight-forward to use.