Jokes on open source or FOSS?

Hey everyone,
I was wondering if anyone knows any more jokes in open source or about FOSS?

I know the classic comes from Vim fans who like to say “Emacs is a great OS, it just needs a decent text editor.”

Recently on a KDE forum I saw someone refer to GNOME as “Gonna Need One Million Extensions”. I went to SCaLE again this year (I know, I need to do another write up about it, but I have been very busy) and I helped out at both the openSUSE and KDE booths, and I will say the KDE folks loved that joke.

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One that comes to my mind is a question and the funny answer:

-What is it: little, yellow, beeps, and is very dangerous!
-???
-Day-old chick having the root password.
:smiley:

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I love the weekly newsletter we get with the funny image at the end. Usually makes me smile. But sadly i am poor at joke telling, I am the only one who thinks its funny or have to explain it, so loose the point.

But people do say I am a funny bugger !
Dont think they are laughing with me more at me.

But great idea, look forward to reading them

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The box said “Windows 10 or better” - so I installed Linux

This is basis of open source
“An algorithm must be seen to be believed” Donald Knuth

And one for programmers
“Programs are meant to be read by humans and only incidentally for computers to execute.” Donald Knuth
… tell that to the designers of Rust

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This came from Quora:

How many Linux users are needed to change a lightbulb?

1 to post a thread in a forum telling the bulb has burnt.

1 to suggest to try to turn the lamp on through command lines.

1 to complain that the user broke the thread.

1 to ask what new bulb will he install.

1 to advice that we shouldn’t use the word burn for meaning a broken lightbulb, because it would mean that the bulb was set on fire and that it wold be right to say that the bulb broke due to an excess of electrical current.

25 to suggest to install all the kinds of existing and imaginable lightbulbs.

5 who say that the burnt bulb is an upstream issue that doesn’t belong to the distro. There’s an open bug on the bulb’s developer mail list.

1 noob to suggest to install a Microsoft lightbulb.

250 to flood the noob’s mail address.

300 to say that a Microsoft lightbulb would turn blue and that you’d had to reboot continuously to get back to normal.

1 former linux user who still frequents the forum, to suggest to install an Apple iBulb, which has a fresh and innovating design and it costs 250 $.

20 to say that iBulbs aren’t free, and that they have less functions than a 20 times cheaper standard lightbulb.

15 to suggest to install a national lightbulb.

30 to say that national lightbulbs are creepled remasters of foreign lightbulbs and that they don’t bring nothing new.

23 to argue if it must be a white or a transparent bulb.

1 to remiind everyone that the right name is GNU/Lightbulb.

1 to say that lightbulbs are a Winbugs users thing and that real Linux users aren’t afraid of the dark.

1 to announce finally which will be the model of the installed bulb.

217 to discard the chosen model and suggest another.

6 to complain that the chosen lightbulb has propietary elements, and that another should be used.

20 to say that a 100% free bulb, isn’t compatible with the lamp switch.

The same previous 6, to suggest to change the switch for a compatible one.

1 to yell out: “STOP ARGUING AND CHANGE THAT LIGHTBULB FOR GOD’S SAKE!”

350 to ask the previous user what God is he talking about, and that if he has scientific proofs of his existence.

1 to say that we can’t trust in corporation-made bulbs and that we should trust in community-made bulbs.

1 to post a link to an ODF file explaining how to build a lightbulb from scratch.

14 to complain about the format of the previous file and asking to send it in txt or LaTeX.

5 to say that they didn’t like the taken decission and that they’ll fork the house’s electric installation and install a better lamp.

1 to post a series of commands to put to change the lightbulb.

1 to comment that he executed the commands and had an error message.

1 to advice that the commands must be executed as root

And finally:

The father of the first user, who while everyone were discussing, he went to the shop and bought the cheapest lightbulb.

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Appropriate command against terror attack:
chmod 000 /bin/laden

Just found this:
How can you be sure, Linux is better than Windows?
Everyone has seen a frozen window, but a frozen penguin? :slight_smile:

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Only left out 1 Neville Jackson.! Then there is me who can’t even get a job like that right.!!!

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We are all in the same category, Rodney

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Accidentally found an old collection. Some samples from it:

  1. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
  2. Answers: Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb looks are still free.
  3. RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!
  4. DOS never says “EXCELLENT command or filename”…
  5. MONEY TALKS … but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!
  6. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  7. Whereisthespacebutton oh I found it!
  8. tODay WE leaRn HoW tO uSE thE CAPs LocK
  9. Who is that GENERAL FAILURE and how dare he read my disk?!
  10. Airconditioned terminal. Don’t open WINDOWS!
  11. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit!
  12. Microsoft has finally produced a bug without a program.
  13. God save the screen!
  14. It is the PROGRAM that converts the data into error messages.
  15. RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory
  16. Would you like a Yes/No prompt? (Y/n)
  17. Murphy: What can go wrong, will go wr$!#@^% NO CARRIER
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Lack of upgrading can be a problem later in life if you don’t.

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Can I come in?

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Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

  1. “Specifications are for the weak and timid!”

  2. “This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!”

  3. “You cannot really appreciate Dilbert until you’ve read it in the original Klingon.”

  4. “Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!”

  5. “What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’! Our software ‘escapes’, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake!”

  6. “Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ - they have ‘arguments’ - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.”

  7. “Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.”

  8. “I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.”

  9. “A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!”

  10. “By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!”

  11. “You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!”

  12. “Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!”

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