The SatNav Guide

I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car.

A Satnav is a driver’s friend it tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav, I’ve had it all my life.

It’s better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive

“It’s sixty miles an hour”, it says, “You’re doing sixty five”.

It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake

And tells me that it’s never ever, safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear.

And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.

I’m sure no other driver, has so helpful a device.

For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling, each journey’s pretty fraught.

So why don’t I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed.

It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.


Really love this just pleased my lass won’t see it or that will be me further in the dog house than usual :rofl::rofl:

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i stared at that title for a while thinking “what could possibly be funny about satnav?” :slight_smile: little did i know…

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Anyone here remember NTC “CHIP” and “PocketCHIP”? I think I’ve seen a few on here mention them… I subscribed to their Kickstarter in 2015 and by late 2016 ended up with 10 of them…
They tried to launch another Kickstarter for a SatNav voice “thingie” based on CHIP called “Voder” - unfortunately it failed, then a few months later they did, lots of unsatisfied customers and unfullfilled orders (I always got everything I paid them for)… Shame - great bunch of people there…
Anyway - I hate talking to, or hearing, computers talk (unless its some great synth music!)… I’ll never ever do Siri / Cortana (reminds me of Ford Cortina :smiley: ) / Alexa / Google Assistant … never…


I am still waiting for mine.

I was so devastated to see it fail.


Cortana (reminds me of Ford Cortina

The Dagenham Rustbucket, classic



@anon56357095 wow not heard that expression in years :rofl: even these were worse than Fred Flintstone’s car lotus_cortina_1 weren’t they


Loved the ride in Lotus version :1st_place_medal:

Sooner have rustbucket (Metrot GTi) than American Lard :woozy_face:

Wife and I love it - Thanks :joy: