The Billion $ Test

So as to free up Roger’s post where Akito and I have been waging war - “You have literally no idea what you are talking about.” etc etc etc.


Please calm down Akito or you will blow a fuse; I want us to be friends and move forward and stop this silly bickering - Just read Mina’s views on VMs - personally I think - a waste of space - live in RAM is much better and relevant to our members or a full install better still.
Talking of which shall we take a back seat and let the Fossers decide? So that they can envisage my workplace as a one man show freelance design engineer who at times as Director of his own Design Studio has employed up to six top class design engineers at one time… So I do know what I am talking about - real world business contracts… :wink:
So picture me; away from my home in the Black Country, leaving a B&B to work in a clients office in another UK city. I have lost my rag with the dumb ass design team at the parent company in the USA. It is Monday morning and I am working away tidying up loose ends as I expect to be fired any time soon for abusive degrading put-down of American staff. I then get word that the millionaire company owner has flown in from Greenwich Village NYC to see me. Oh shit…. :flushed: I started to pack my gear and make a coffee when he appears at my desk. As I had not met him before he introduces himself, as everyone is watching us, and asks politely if I would explain my unique design to him. Using my CAD box and SolidWorks virtual reality modelling and video animations; I explain that the virtual pivot deep inside the rail head comes from racing car double wishbone suspension - the roll centre of a car - and that I have used this principle rotated ninety degrees to place the roll centre virtual pivot inside the metal to be tested or wherever I decide is best. He thanked me for my explanation and returned to Greenwich Village next day.
The rumours started and next week I still had not been fired and heard that he had told his US design team to shut the … up metaphorically, and had started a new European guy as his head of design. I let it be known to all that I was so grateful for him getting those idiots off my back but would be leaving soon as I had a much better offer for my services - when in bursts this new head of design… Jeeeez Andy; who taught you to design this way, I have never seen anything like it - so unique. Totally embarrassed I cringed and cringed some more, then replied struggling for words; no one, I am what you lot call a Maverick. Of course the owner had sent him over from the US to get me to work directly for him in the US - all expenses paid visa and legal costs too - name my price. Maggie and I took him out for traditional fish and chips supper where I asked him to explain politely that I cannot stand America or most Americans - Frank and Dweezil Zappa excepted and no amount of money would persuade us. Besides my contractual t&c’s expressly exclude anything to do with America. We remain good friends. Though as usual petty jealousy was rife - even the Managing Director turned very hostile as he no longer had the authority to fire me. So later on in China I dropped him deep in the shit… :poop: don’t mess with me or my designs
I manage the production of all my design into metal £50,000+ wild guess, from highly skilled machinists and fabricators up and down England - everything fits the 3.5 tonne chassis the Chinese have had flown in for me. I then get wind that thirteen of China’s top engineers and scientists are flying in to review my design after visiting others around the world competing for the billion dollar contract. Oh dear, why am I last on their list - not good… The look of realisation on their faces as one of their number was translating car roll centre was priceless as they realised just what I had designed for them - their excitement was palpable as they dived under the chassis in their expensive suits ignoring every health and safety rule to get their hands on the metal.
When I went alone very ill, business class to China for the last time to commission my design I as ever, took the old Vista HP G60, with 3D CAD SolidWorks running on 3Mib RAM including all of my CAD, DTP, photos and business files - who needs a high end gaming computer or even an ordinary gaming computer to win a billion dollar contract…? I don’t… What a joke… :joy:
For some reason the Chinese treat me as a rock star or VIP with chauffeur limo transport and all bills paid and they wont let me touch a spanner (wrench). Yet they laugh till they cry when I protest…! The Black Country loner who pissed on the rest of the western world is the joke, as best as I can tell. This old Misfit fits seamlessly in with the factory workers having a great time and walking Baoji city streets in safety at night taking in their food, art, theatre and culture or walking deep into the forest with their sales director before a VIP feast at a restaurant. The Chinese millionaires, directors, management and factory workers take me in as one of their own - bizarre or what…? Even more bizarre for me is that we are all working together as one to succeed whereas in UK it is so difficult pulling knives out of your back whilst trying to work amongst the idiots and their petty jealousy. Two days after returning I was on a drip in A&E fighting for my life without Chinese medicine - nobody except my Maggie and the Chinese were the least bit bothered.
There you have it Fossers; and the irony is – this contract is all about TESTING…! NDT None Destructive Testing of railtrack, detecting cracks, on a rolling continuous contract - you work out the maths, Beijing to Tibet and everywhere else in China - $billions.
This is just one of my many engineering testing stories since 1969 - standing alone taking on the rest of world as I am here at it’sFOSS. (except @kovacslt thanks László)
You can of course freely choose which tests are relevant to you - my efficiency and practical everyday work tests or Akito’s VMs - Ah - Sorry; Akito has still failed to deliver even the one test she promised way on back Jan 13 - “Then I wonder who will win the game after all, when Trisquel will be the slowest in productivity…Better phone a friend… :wink: